Gareth Strydom

Well where do i start!

Gareth was not only my son, but also one of my best friends along with Linzi his sister.
On the 27th November it was a Saturday, I was almost ready to go christmas shopping with Linzi when the door knocked, It was then when my world fell apart.
It was that worst nightmare any parent dreads, my heart sunk and now has been torn into shreds. To hear a policeman tell you that your own flesh and blood, your son, who you idolise has been killed in a car accident. My whole world fell apart.The only thing that keeps me sane is knowing I have my daughter Linzi, who i am so proud of.
For those of you who knew Gareth, will know he was a popular and well liked lad, loved by all the girls, he didn't have a bad bone in his body, and so full of promises but never really kept to them.

He always lived life in the fast lane but I know why now, he had a lot to fit in before he was taken from us.
He had lots of friends but two in particular Dave and Bob who he adored and I know they felt the same and still do. They have been a tower of strength to us, and I thank them from the bottom of my heart.
People tell me that things will get easier as time goes on, but I know for me each day is getting harder.
Gareth half of my heart died with you, and I love and miss you so much with what is left...............

Loaned Child.

I'll lend you for a little while a child of mine he said, for you to love while he lives and mourn for when hes dead,
it maybe six or seven years or twenty two or three, but will you till i call him back take care of him for me?
He will bring his charms to gladden you, and should his stay be brief you'll have his lovely memories and solace for your grief.
I cannot promise he will stay since all from earth return, but there are lessons taught down there i want this child to learn.
I've looked this wide world over in search for teachers true and from the throngs that crowd lifes lanes i have selected you, now will you give him all your love nor think the labour vain nor hate me when i come to call and take him home again?
I fancied that i heard them say "Dear Lord they will be done
for all the joy this child shall bring for the risk of grief we'll run we'll shelter him with tenderness we'll love him while we may and for the happiness we've known forever grateful stay, but should the Angels call for him much sooner than we planned we'll brave the bitter grief that comes and try to understand...........


The Mask

I have a face i put in place
its what i wear when folks are there
for those only who want to see
the way they think i ought to be.
I live in times that have no light
just cloudy darkness endless night
i laugh but never feel the fun
i no longer see the sun,
when i arise to start a day
i stumble as i make my way
i dont know who'se really me
i'm not the one i used to be
i have no heart to fill with joy
i lost it when i lost my boy,
the future is so bleak to me
i choose not to let others see
so when people stop to ask
i hide behind my smiling mask...........


MY SON.

You are my Son a part of me, and that will never change
no matter what you did in life my love still remained,
I held you as a baby, and looked into you face,
and i knew then, no one could ever take you place.
I knew then as i held you, you would grow into a man,
and anything you did in life i'd try to understand,
I knew you would make choices, and would follow your own heart,
I only prayed that through your life i,d always have a part.
I have held you in my arms, and done the best i can
now i pray that God will hold you now that your a man.
Just remember in my heart you are a special one,
and i will always with pride tell the world
YOU ARE MY SON ..................


I said to God I hurt
and God said I know,
I said I cry a lot
and God said thats why i gave you tears,
I said life is so hard
and God said thats why i gave you loved ones,
I said but my loved one has died
and God said so did mine,
I said its such a great loss
and God said i saw mine nailed to a cross,
I said but your loved one lives
and God said so does yours,
I said where is he now
and God said my son is by my side,
and your son is in my arms...............


Robins.

Today i saw a robin, it was sitting in a tree,
It was the spirit of my Son, who'd come to check on me,
Now why on earth would you think that, thats what i'll know you'll say,
but if you settle in your seats i'll tell you about that day.
It was a long time ago, thousands of years have gone past,
that spirit and the robins, they made a deal that still lasts,
We'd like to visit our loved ones, so they'll know that we are there,
but we know we ca'nt just suddenly appear, cos it would give them one almighty scare,
so if from time to time we can use you, we'll give you a bright red breast,
so they know its us come to see them, and you'll stand out from the rest,
you will always look beautiful, and they will write about you in verse and rhyme,
they paint and keep your picture, especially at christmas time,
the robins they did all agree, and a deal it was struck,
so when you see a robin, you know now, its more than luck............


You cannot see or touch me
but im standing next to you,
your tears can only hurt me,
your sadness makes me blue,
be brave and show a smiling face
let not your grief show through,
I love you from a different place,
yet im standing next to you.............

To My Family.

Somethings i'd like to say, but first of all to let you know that i arrived ok.
I'm writing this from heaven where I dwell with God above,
where theres no more tears or sadness there, is just eternal love.
Please do not be unhappy just because i'm out of sight,
remember that i'm with you every morning noon and night.
That day i had to leave you, when my life on earth was through,
God picked me up and hugged me, and said i welcome you,
its good to have you back again, you were missed while you were gone,
as for you'r dearest family, they will be here later on.
I need you here so badly, as part of my big plan
theres so much that we have to do to help our mortal man.
Then God gave me a list of things he wished for me to do,
and formost on that list of mine is to watch and care for ,
and i will be beside you every day, week and year, and when your
sad i'm standing there to wipe away the tear,
and when you lie in bed at night the days chores put to flight,
God and I are closest to you in the middle of the night.
When you think of my life on earth, and all those loving years
because your only human they are bound to bring you tears,
but do not be afraid to cry, it does relieve the pain, remember there
would be no flowers unless there was some rain.
I wish that I could tell you of all that God has planned, but if
i were to tell you, you wouldnt understand, but one thing
is for certain, tho my life on earth is o'er, I am closer to you now
than i ever was before.
And to my very many friends trust God knows what is best,
i'm still not far away from you, i'm just beyond the crest.
There are rocky roads ahead for you, and many hills to climb,
but together we can do it, taking one day at a time.
It was always my philosophy, and i'd like it for you too,
that as you give unto the world so the world will give to you
if you can help somebody who is in sorrow, or in pain,
then you can say to god at night my days were not in vain.
And now I am contented that my life it was worthwhile
knowing as i passed along the way, i made somebody smile
so if you meet somebody who is down and feeling low,
just lend a hand to pick him up as on your way you go.
When you are walking down the street and you've got me on your mind
i'm walking in your footsteps only half a step behind,
and when you feel the gentle breeze, or the wind upon your face
thats me giving you a great big hug, or just a soft embrace.
And when its time for you to go from that body to be free,
remember your not going, you are coming home to me.
And i will always love you from that land way up above,
will be in touch again soon
P. S. God sends his love x